Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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