garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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