Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
