I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
