I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I understand Curling. That high.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
