the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
