I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
