I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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