I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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