everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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