She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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