Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
