I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Randomize
