Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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