no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
