Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
