Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
