She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I understand Curling. That high.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
