What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Randomize
