Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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