I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
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Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.