i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES