dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
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Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!