I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.