Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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