I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"