her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
