so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
