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dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
seriously i just wanna be friends
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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