i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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