I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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