I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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