where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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