you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
