how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
