I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize