Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
