member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize