I need help removing her.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
