awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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