felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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