I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
