I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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