ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
