How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
