after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
