I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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