Don't you send me to vm
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
