four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
