Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
