It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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