i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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