it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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