mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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