I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
