I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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