Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize