i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
