I must be too annoying 4 u.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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