How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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