Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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