Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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