Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
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