Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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