Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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