I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
