return my video game
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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