My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
