You're so nebulous sometimes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
